my therapist once told me that i have this obsession with seeking revenge… we’ll see about that
babies suck at driving. just another reason i hate kids
seems like they’re driving u crazy
Student: can I please use the bathroom?
Teachers: why are you taking your bag?
This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.
I didn’t tell enough people
to fuck off.
|—||My 92 year old grandma (via expeditum)|
Lilo discovers she looks like her mom when she was Lilo’s age.
Because of Stitch
so other than that, mrs. lincoln, how was the play
*accidentally calls a teacher “bae”*
Why is the cake cutting-thingy square? And where’s the leftovers from the middle circle?
One of the pieces disappears?????
it’s a mouse wearing pants
|—||Kanye West (via asapkingsofparis)|
remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason
This post creeps me out because it is absolutely true
WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRISTMAS
if every mistake you’ve made was written in a book, would you read it?
Mine would be a 5 book trilogy with books as big as Harry Potter
””“5 book trilogy”“”“
well that would obviously be the first sentence
y’all r gettin way too accurate with these it’s scaring me